Year Three and Counting...

First Dating

Marriage is a microcosm of life--a distillation of human experience. It combines the trajectories of two young people so that, together, they reach farther than could've alone. Marriage is synergy. Above all, marriage is what Rainer Maria Rilke calls a "new task and a new seriousness, - a new demand on the strength and generosity of each partner, and a great new danger for both."

Right before we left Oxford.

Yes, marriage is dangerous. But it isn't because you might lose your identity. You won't become "one flesh"--you're not losing yourself. But quite the contrary. Instead of tearing down all the boundaries and getting rid of that space in between you two, a good marriage is one in which each of you appoints the other to be the guardian of your solitude. This is precisely why marriage is a serious undertaking. You are about to become entirely vulnerable to each other by trusting the other to be the protector of you. "Becoming one flesh" as it is interpreted by many modern readers of the Hebrew Bible is impossible, and where it seems to exist, it is really the enslaving of one unto the will of the other, robbing one or both parties of their fullest freedom and maturation.  Instead, marriage is most successful when the two partners acknowledge and love that liminal space in between--which, in Rilke's opinion, "gives them the possibility of always seeing each other as a whole and before an immense sky."

Engagement

And thus, you have chosen to come together here, before you dearly beloved friends, family and God, and are about to appoint the other to stand guard before the gates of your individuality, and in return to accept the responsibility of guarding the personhood of your beloved. This is a sobering responsibility--one that should never be taken lightly. But one that also brings great joy and happiness in the undertaking for it is a task borne of love.

First Anniversary

When Paul wrote to the followers of Jesus in Rome, he had some advice for the lovesick: he advised them to "let love be genuine; hate what is evil, hold fast to what is good; love one another with mutual affection; outdo one another in showing honor. Do not lag in zeal, be ardent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in suffering, persevere in prayer."

Right before we moved to Long Island.

So the question on everyone's mind today is, if we are to take Paul at his word, whether the both of you are up to this most enviable, yet serious of tasks. To love, to be ethical in your relationship with each other, to be just with each other, to outdo one another in respecting each other, to live life with panache, to serve God, be ever hopeful, to suffer each other even when you are insufferable, to keep the dialogue open?

Halloween

Both of you have confided in me that you are up to this task, so I will now as you to promise these things before all of us here today.

Concert

And here we are three years later, thankfully having stayed true to these sagacious words, on our adventure with some undeniably rainy nights, but oh, so many glistening mornings that have made this travel so far, more than worth the journey. --Our wedding address was written by Uncle Daniel Bustillos JD, PhD

Mom's Visit!

Happy New Year

Well, I'm sitting in my bed with my new year's cold and while it is a few days late I thought I'd share some new year's resolutions with everybody. I hate New Year's Resolutions and sadly I rarely if ever live up to them, but as the new year approaches I can never help but make them. So here they are, not in any particular order:

1.Be less self deprecating.

2.Be a better wife, daughter, sister, friend (less of a nag, more supportive, etc.)

3. Believe in myself more.

4. Exercise at least 3 days a week.

5. Drink no more than 3 cokes a week.

6. Drink more water.

7. Use credit cards less.

8. Be more grateful.

9. Exercise more self-control.

10. Procrastinate less.

And one to grow on...Love more everyone all the time no matter what.

Anyway, hope everyone has had a fabulous beginning to 2009 and remember that you will all be in my thoughts and well wishes.

Mel

Frustrated...

OK, after spending a good portion of the day doing some research for the last paper I have due this past semester and running into wall after wall and coming to terms with the fact that I am going to have to go into the city for some further research I put on the Cowboys v. Eagles game and we are getting spanked! It is just not going to be my day!

I just wanted to vent. I hope everybody else is having a peaceful and wonderful Sunday! I am looking forward to the new year and beginning school again! I am up for the challenge of being more organized with my time. I also have a much better idea of what is going to be expected of me and I can't wait to have the opportunity to really dig in!

I guess I am also a little frustrated because I know that anything even remotely cool is not going to work out for new year's eve. :( I was really wanting to do something great (as always) but John is going to be working new year's eve and then he will be beginning his new job on the second so he doesn't want to stay out all night either. Oh well there's always next year...right? I feel like I am always stuck saying that. Anyway enough with the pity party and my crazy stream of consciousness writing. I am overall happy with the way things are going in our life right now, just a bad day with enough time to complain about it! Our love goes out to all our friends and family!

The Holidays

So Christmas was pretty uneventful, but nice. We slept in, had a nice breakfast, took a nap, and then went to see some movies. We saw Doubt and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.

Both were really amazing films. They really made us think about out priorities and the new year to come. I highly suggest that everyone go see them! Well back to internship applications and paper writing. But I just wanted to say hi. We are looking forward to the new year and a visit first from John's cousin Michael, then my little sister Laura, and last my cousin Bobby! Good times to come! We miss everyone and love everyone and hope that we will be able to see all out friends and family soon!

SO SO SO LONG

Hey Friends and Family!

I am so sorry it has been so long since I have had a chance to write! Since the end of October my life has been a whirlwind. Our dear friends Rob and Liz came to visit for Halloween and on that trip we met our other great Oxford friends Hayley and her husband Aaron in the city and spent the night at Hayley's aunts apartment. It was a blast! Then November was the beginning of my real crunch time! I had so many presentations, papers, and reading that pretty much consumed every second! It was horrible and then John was working two jobs for us and so he was working almost 70 hours a week and we really didn't see much of each other.

Me and Our Friends in Central Park.

I gave my last presentation on Monday December 15th and then went straight from class to pick my mommy up from the airport and we had another whirlwind of a time going into the city and experiencing the first major snows of the season! Ha ha it was really fun though. She just left yesterday and I already miss her a lot! But things will be fine. John's mom is coming tomorrow and then Laura is going to be down Jan. 13-19 and in the mean while John's cousin Michael and my cousin Bobby are going to be up here so we will be in and out of the city visiting them as well!

Me and Mom in Bryant Park!

Mom and Matt!

I still have one paper to finish editing up between today and tomorrow and then one more paper to finish that is due January 15th. But I am out of school and so happy! I got my first grade in for the semester and it was an A!!! I know it was a miracle. And John just got a new job! It is in marketing and he will be specifically working with non-profits. He is really excited he will be working a normal 40 hours a week and will be making about twice as much (hourly) for his time. It is a big relief because the amount of time he was working was really beginning to get him down.

Mom insisting on taking picture of John and I!

We really feel like things are beginning to fall into place for us up here. Finally! Haha not it has not been miserable it has just been a big adjustment. But we are happy and are looking forward to the coming year. Wow just thinking about it by the end of next year I will only have a semester to go! My goals for the year include beginning to go to conferences, getting a few good internships, moving into the city, studying for my comps, and beginning to get some ground work laid for my thesis. John also hope to begin working and accelling at his job, and of course moving into the city with me!

30 Rock.

Ma Dame

So a friend gave me this new fragrance. Her boyfriend gave it to her and she didn't want to hurt his feelings so she asked me if I wanted to try it! Amazingly enough it was a perfume that I had been dying to try...and guess what!?!?!? I love it! It is Ma Dame by Jean Paul Gaultier and it is fabulous! It has a very intriguing smell of orange, rose, grenadine, musk, and cedar. I love the complexity of the scent. If you would like a little something to give you a new edge I suggest you give it a try!

Goop

Ok I know this sounds very trendy and silly of me but I found this web/blog site that everybody has been making fun of called Goop. It is by Gwyneth Paltrow and I must say that I have only received one e-mail it is pretty cool You go the site that is linked up on the blog and put in your e-mail information and then "she" e-mails you. Here's the first one. I also included some picture of Long Island in the fall, because if there is one thing they do well here it is Autumn!

This week brings easy, delicious, healthy options for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I absolutely love these buckwheat and banana pancakes, which I came up with when making breakfast for a friend who doesn’t eat eggs or dairy and doesn’t love wheat. I like the challenge of making super healthy food that doesn’t taste like it belongs in California in the 1970s. If my son likes them, then anyone will like them! The quick tuna sandwich makes a satisfying lunch and the soy-mayo spread really makes it sing. The chicken dinner is so easy it’s ridiculous. Just make sure your pantry is stocked with fish sauce and rice vinegar from the Asian market – they add incredible depth of flavor, it will taste like you have been slaving all day. If you only buy one organic item, it should be the chicken. Cook with love! Make it great! BUCKWHEAT AND BANANA PANCAKES I’ve got a thing for pancakes. This combination of nutty buckwheat and sweet, sticky banana is just great. You could sprinkle chopped walnuts on the pancakes as they’re cooking for a full-on pancake-meets-banana bread experience. These happen to be vegan, but don’t taste like it. Buckwheat flour adds a lot of value to the plain white flour – it’s rich in nutrients like calcium, iron, B vitamins and protein, and it's gluten-free. Definitely worth a trip to the health food store. SERVES: 3 or 4 (makes about a dozen pancakes) TIME: 15 minutes 1 1/4 cups soy or rice milk 1 tablespoon lemon juice 1 tablespoon vegetable oil 1 tablespoon maple syrup, plus more for serving 1/2 cup buckwheat flour 1 teaspoon baking soda 1/2 cup unbleached all-purpose flour or white spelt flour (substitute rice flour to make pancakes completely gluten-free) 1/2 teaspoon salt 2 bananas, thinly sliced Mix all the wet ingredients together in a small bowl. Mix all the dry ingredients together in a slightly bigger bowl. Add the wet to the dry and stir just enough to combine – be careful not to over-mix (that’s how you get tough pancakes). Heat a large nonstick skillet or griddle over medium-high heat (I love Jamie Oliver’s nonstick cookware – it’s so slippery that I don’t need to use any oil or butter). Ladle as many pancakes as possible onto your griddle. Place a few slices of banana on top of each pancake. Cook for about a minute and a half on the first side or until the surface is covered with small bubbles and the underside is nicely browned. Flip and cook for about a minute on the second side. Repeat the process until you run out of batter. Serve stacked high with plenty of maple syrup. ASIAN TUNA SANDWICHES WITH SOY AND SESAME MAYONNAISE This started as an elegant, plated tuna dish, but it quickly turned into an out-of-this-world sandwich. If you’d like, you can omit the bread and simply serve the tuna on a bed of arugula and use the soy and sesame mayonnaise as a dressing. SERVES: 4 TIME: 10 minutes  2 tuna steaks, about half a pound each 2 tablespoons peanut oil 1 tablespoon finely minced ginger 8 slices ciabatta Extra virgin olive oil Soy and sesame mayonnaise (see recipe below) Freshly ground black pepper 1 cup arugula Slice each tuna steak in half horizontally so you end up with four thin steaks (more bang for your buck!). Rub them with the peanut oil and ginger. Set a large, nonstick skillet over high heat. When it’s hot, cook the tuna steaks for 20-30 seconds on each side or until just seared.  Meanwhile, grill or toast the bread and drizzle with a little bit of olive oil. Spread the soy and sesame mayo on one side of each slice and sprinkle with freshly ground black pepper. Distribute the tuna and arugula evenly on four slices of bread and sandwich with the remaining four slices.  Devour. SOY AND SESAME MAYONNAISE Beyond quick and simple but full of flavor. Also a nice dip for steamed vegetables.  MAKES: 1/2 cup (more than enough for 4 sandwiches) TIME: 1 minute!  1/2 cup prepared mayonnaise (or Veganaise – the only substitute that tastes good) 2 teaspoons shoyu (soy sauce) 2 teaspoons roasted sesame oil Whisk everything together.  CARAMELIZED BLACK PEPPER CHICKEN I recently found this recipe in Food & Wine magazine. It’s from Charles Phan, who runs the great Vietnamese restaurant, Slanted Door, in San Francisco. When I make it, I use a little less sugar, a lot more cilantro and organic chicken breasts (I prefer the texture of white meat in this preparation). This literally takes minutes, is so easy and tastes like what you always imagine take-out will taste like (but sadly never does). Serve this with jasmine or brown rice and stir-fried or steamed vegetables.  SERVES: 4 generously TIME: 10 minutes 2/3 cup dark brown sugar (unrefined) 1/3 cup fish sauce 1/3 cup rice vinegar 1/2 cup water 2 teaspoons finely grated garlic 2 teaspoons finely grated ginger 2 teaspoons coarsely ground pepper 1 or 2 fresh Thai chilis (to your taste!), halved 2 tablespoons vegetable oil 2 shallots, thinly sliced 2 pounds organic boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cut into small pieces (1/2”) 2 tablespoons coarsely chopped cilantro In a small bowl, combine the sugar, fish sauce, vinegar, water, garlic, ginger, pepper and chili and reserve. In a large skillet, heat the oil over medium-high heat and cook the shallots until softened and a bit brown, about 3 minutes. Add the chicken and stir-fry, browning it all over, about a minute. Add the sugar mixture and simmer over high heat until the chicken is totally cooked through, about 6 minutes. Stir in the cilantro and serve. NEXT WEEK We’ll talk to three very cool doctors about how to achieve general health, well-being, detoxification and weight loss.